What Can I Put on a Grave Instead of Flowers? And Why Not a Time Machine?

What Can I Put on a Grave Instead of Flowers? And Why Not a Time Machine?

When we think of visiting a grave, the traditional image that comes to mind is one of flowers—lilies, roses, or perhaps a simple bouquet of wildflowers. Flowers have long been a symbol of remembrance, beauty, and the fleeting nature of life. But what if you want to break away from tradition? What if you want to leave something more personal, more meaningful, or even more unconventional? The possibilities are endless, and in this article, we’ll explore a wide range of alternatives to flowers that you can place on a grave. And while we’re at it, let’s ponder why not a time machine? After all, if we could, wouldn’t we all want to revisit the moments we shared with our loved ones?

1. Personal Mementos: A Piece of Their Life

One of the most meaningful things you can leave on a grave is a personal memento that reflects the life and personality of the deceased. This could be anything from a favorite book, a piece of jewelry, or even a small trinket that held special significance to them. For example, if your loved one was an avid reader, leaving a well-worn copy of their favorite novel can be a touching tribute. If they were a musician, a small instrument or a sheet of music might be appropriate. These items serve as a reminder of the unique individual they were and the passions that defined their life.

2. Handwritten Letters: Words from the Heart

In an age where digital communication dominates, there’s something profoundly intimate about a handwritten letter. Writing a letter to your loved one and leaving it on their grave can be a deeply personal way to express your feelings. You can share memories, express your love, or even update them on what’s been happening in your life since they’ve been gone. This act of writing can be therapeutic, allowing you to process your grief and maintain a sense of connection with the person you’ve lost.

3. Photographs: Capturing Memories

A photograph can be a powerful way to honor someone’s memory. Consider leaving a framed photo of a cherished moment you shared with the deceased. It could be a picture from a family vacation, a wedding, or simply a candid shot that captures their essence. Photographs have the ability to transport us back in time, allowing us to relive those precious moments. Placing a photo on a grave can serve as a visual reminder of the joy and love that person brought into your life.

4. Art and Crafts: A Creative Tribute

If you’re artistically inclined, creating a piece of art or a craft to leave on a grave can be a beautiful way to pay tribute. This could be a painting, a sculpture, or even a handmade card. The act of creating something with your own hands can be a deeply emotional experience, and the finished product can serve as a lasting testament to your love and creativity. Even if you’re not an artist, simple crafts like a knitted scarf or a beaded bracelet can be meaningful gestures.

5. Natural Elements: Stones, Shells, and More

Nature offers a wealth of options for grave tributes. Stones, shells, and other natural elements can be used to create a unique and lasting memorial. In many cultures, stones are placed on graves as a sign of respect and remembrance. You could also consider leaving a small potted plant or a tree sapling, which can grow and flourish over time, symbolizing the enduring nature of love and memory. If your loved one had a connection to the sea, a seashell or a piece of driftwood might be a fitting tribute.

6. Candles and Lanterns: Light in the Darkness

Candles and lanterns have long been associated with remembrance and hope. Lighting a candle on a grave can be a symbolic way to honor the deceased, representing the light they brought into your life. You can use traditional candles, LED candles, or even lanterns that can be hung nearby. The flickering flame can serve as a reminder that even in the darkest times, there is always a glimmer of light and hope.

7. Food and Drink: A Shared Meal

If your loved one had a favorite food or drink, consider leaving it on their grave as a tribute. This could be a bottle of their favorite wine, a piece of their favorite cake, or even a home-cooked meal. While it may seem unconventional, this gesture can be a way of sharing a meal with them one last time, honoring their tastes and the memories you shared around the table. In some cultures, leaving food on a grave is a common practice, symbolizing the continuation of care and nourishment even after death.

8. Musical Tributes: A Song for the Soul

Music has the power to evoke emotions and memories like nothing else. If your loved one had a favorite song or musician, consider leaving a CD, a vinyl record, or even a handwritten sheet of music on their grave. You could also play their favorite song at the gravesite, allowing the music to fill the air and create a moment of connection. Music can be a powerful way to honor someone’s memory and celebrate the joy they brought into your life.

9. Charitable Donations: Giving in Their Name

Another meaningful way to honor a loved one is by making a charitable donation in their name. You can leave a note on the grave indicating the donation, or even a small token representing the cause you’ve chosen to support. This could be a donation to a charity they were passionate about, or one that reflects their values and interests. Giving to others in their name can be a powerful way to continue their legacy and make a positive impact in the world.

10. Time Capsules: Preserving Memories

Creating a time capsule to leave on a grave can be a unique and lasting tribute. You can fill the capsule with items that represent the deceased’s life, such as photographs, letters, small mementos, or even a written account of their life story. The time capsule can be buried near the grave or placed in a secure container on the site. This act of preserving memories can be a way of ensuring that their story lives on for future generations.

11. Why Not a Time Machine?

Now, let’s circle back to the whimsical idea of a time machine. While it’s not something you can physically place on a grave, the concept of a time machine speaks to our deepest desires to reconnect with those we’ve lost. If we could, wouldn’t we all want to go back and relive the moments we shared with our loved ones? To hear their laughter, feel their embrace, and tell them once more how much they meant to us? While a time machine remains the stuff of science fiction, the idea reminds us of the importance of cherishing the time we have with those we love and creating memories that will last a lifetime.

12. Digital Tributes: A Modern Approach

In today’s digital age, there are also ways to create tributes that exist in the virtual world. You could create a digital memorial website, a social media page, or even a video montage of memories. While these tributes may not be physical objects placed on a grave, they can serve as a modern way to honor and remember your loved one. You can share these digital tributes with family and friends, allowing them to contribute their own memories and stories.

13. Memory Jars: Collecting Moments

A memory jar is a simple yet powerful way to collect and preserve memories of your loved one. You can place a jar on the grave and encourage family and friends to write down their favorite memories, stories, or messages to the deceased. Over time, the jar will fill up with these precious moments, creating a tangible record of the impact they had on the lives of those around them. This can be a comforting way to keep their memory alive and to feel connected to them through the shared stories of others.

14. Customized Grave Markers: A Lasting Legacy

If you’re looking for a more permanent tribute, consider customizing the grave marker itself. This could involve adding a special inscription, a meaningful symbol, or even a piece of artwork that reflects the deceased’s personality or interests. Customized grave markers can be a way to create a lasting legacy that honors their life and the impact they had on those around them.

15. Acts of Kindness: Living Their Legacy

Finally, one of the most powerful ways to honor a loved one is by living out their legacy through acts of kindness. You can leave a note on the grave detailing the kind acts you’ve done in their memory, or simply make a commitment to live your life in a way that reflects their values and spirit. Whether it’s volunteering, helping a friend in need, or simply spreading joy and positivity, these acts of kindness can be a meaningful way to keep their memory alive and make a positive impact in the world.


Q: Is it appropriate to leave food on a grave? A: Yes, in many cultures, leaving food on a grave is a common practice and can be a meaningful way to honor the deceased. However, it’s important to consider the rules and regulations of the cemetery, as some may have restrictions on what can be left on graves.

Q: Can I leave a digital device, like a tablet, on a grave? A: While it’s technically possible, it’s not recommended due to the risk of theft or damage. Instead, consider creating a digital tribute that can be accessed online or through a QR code placed on the grave.

Q: What should I do if I want to leave something unconventional on a grave? A: It’s always a good idea to check with the cemetery or graveyard management before leaving something unconventional. They may have specific guidelines or restrictions on what can be placed on graves.

Q: How can I involve other family members in creating a tribute? A: You can organize a family gathering where everyone contributes something meaningful to the tribute, such as a memory jar, a collection of photographs, or a collaborative piece of art. This can be a way to bring everyone together and create a collective tribute that honors the deceased.

Q: Are there any eco-friendly options for grave tributes? A: Yes, there are many eco-friendly options, such as biodegradable urns, seed paper that can be planted to grow flowers, or natural elements like stones and shells. These options can be a way to honor your loved one while also being mindful of the environment.


In conclusion, there are countless ways to honor and remember a loved one beyond the traditional bouquet of flowers. Whether you choose to leave a personal memento, a handwritten letter, or even a whimsical time machine (in spirit), the most important thing is that your tribute reflects the unique life and legacy of the person you’ve lost. By thinking outside the box, you can create a memorial that is as special and individual as they were.